Illustration by Jeremy Schlangen
What's up with college roommates living like pigs?
When you dare not even enter the room down the hall because you dread the mess that awaits you, you know you're living with a greedy, filthy swine.
Aside from dirty bong water and piles of laundry, I have come across the worst of the worst. For instance: Chef Boyardee, with remnants of red sauce, left to rust, glass shards left to be stepped upon in the kitchen and cigarette butts on the stove.
Some thought the dorms were bad, but when you're living in an apartment with a microwave as your only cooking mechanism, dorms might actually be a blessing in disguise. I have found, though, that the easiest way to resolve these problems is to simply write a note about your concerns at pin it to the refrigerator.
There comes a day when one must stand up for their rights to live in a clean home, and not be forced to confine themselves to an eighty-square-foot sanctuary of dirtiness.